Amazed and Blessed

Sometimes when I look at my little boy I am just so amazed by him and his journey so far in life. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Parker, his life and all of the obstacles he has been challenged with and overcome. As a parent, there is nothing in this world I would not do for Parker. I love him with every ounce of my being and it is his precious smile, infectious laugh and zest for life that make me so proud to be his mommy. Parker is the strongest person I know. Whenever I find myself feeling down, I try to remind myself that it is Parker who has truly experienced all this pain and he is always happy. I am not quite sure how he does it, but I am so grateful that he does. It is amazing how a little person who has undergone so much in such a short life can always be so happy and content with life. Perhaps, this is because he does not know any different. I believe that this is simply his personality and that it does not take much to make him smile, laugh and be silly.
We are in the process of arranging our return visit to Italy for Parker's one year follow up tests. Although we are looking forward to visiting a place which was our home for 7 months, I am not looking forward to some of the invasive tests that Parker will have. It has been so nice only going to Sick Kids monthly and not having to watch Parker get so stressed out when they access his catheter. There is nothing worse than watching your child try to defend themselves as they look at you and wonder why you are not helping them.
Although, our journey with Parker has been extremely difficult, I do know that we are extremely fortunate and blessed that Parker is doing so well and thriving. He truly is a miracle and I try to count my blessings because our life could have been so much worse if Parker was not diagnosed when he was.
Life is precious. We all know this. However, sometimes it is just so easy to get caught up with life that we miss what we are truly living. I find myself doing this and that is why lately I try to just sit and watch my son as he discovers something new because I feel fortunate to have this opportunity with Parker- something which many parents do not have.
I am a worrier. Those who know me can attest to the fact that I worry about everything. Having a sick child has not helped this. However, I know that if I continue to worry about everything that could go wrong with Parker I am going to miss the present and all I can do is put my faith in a higher source that my family will continue to be protected and Parker will live a normal, healthy life when he is given the chance.
Reading this blog, I can see that it is more of a therapeutic entry than anything else. Some days, I just feel the need to write whether it makes sense or not. Today was one of those days and I guess my whole point is to enjoy today, enjoy the present and enjoy being surrounded by those who you feel blessed to be with and who amaze you too!
Ciao!