Friday, April 18, 2008

Sunny Days!

It's amazing how the change in weather can drastically improve one's overall mood. Parker and I have been taking full advantage of all this beautiful weather we have been granted with this week. Having been cooped up and indoors for the winter, it is like a whole new world for us. Parker just loves the fresh air and going for walks. We have been going for some nice long walks each day and it has been great for Parker to see so many new things. He loves to point at things along the way especially mail boxes! Last night we played outside while daddy barbecued for us. This was a highlight for Parker. He absolutely loved being in the backyard and definitely expended a lot of energy before bed! I think he particularly liked hearing the voices and laughs of children in their backyards as well. It often makes me sad when Parker sees other children because he is so memorized by them. It is almost like he goes into a trance as he stares at them and laughs at their actions. Although he is never around little people his age much, he absolutely loves to be in their presence. When I think of the day that we are given a green light for Parker to be a child, it brings tears to my eyes. I desperately want him to enjoy every part of life that a two year old should. I know that he is going to be such a caring and special friend to so many people. I hope that his energy, happiness and laughter are qualities that he continues to carry with him as he continues to grow!
We are hoping to get Parker some sort of activity set to play on outside very soon. It is just too stressful to try and take him to the park and carefully lysol all areas of a swing before he is able to use it. It is also very difficult to gage an optimum time to take him. I also find it taxing when people watch me as I lysol down his swing and ask me why I am doing that. I know that people are genuine and have the best intentions and do not mean anything negative when they are asking or staring- they are simply curious. However, sometimes I feel like I am at the point where I just don't want to have to explain why I am doing it because then it makes me sad. It makes me feel sad that my sweet, precious little boy has to take so many precautions just to go on a swing that is second nature to most children. Parker absolutely loves going on the swing. He laughs the entire time and has a smile that never fades and then of course cries when he has to go home...
On Monday, I had a special treat and went into my work for the first time in almost two years. I really miss my job. I absolutely love teaching and have always expressed that I cannot wait until the day when I can eventually go back. I did not really realize just how much I missed it until I went back. There was such comfort going back to such a familiar place, surrounded by colleagues and friends who know and care so much about Parker. It made me feel so good to know that I have so much support at my work. Everyone was telling me how they keep up with the blog and genuinely expressed their hopes that our family would soon be able to live a "normal" life again. I want to thank everyone for their kindness and support. I had a fantastic visit and cannot wait for everyone to eventually meet Parker one day!
Lastly, I would like to remind everyone that tickets are still being sold for the golf fundraiser. If you are interested in purchasing tickets then please e-mail the site soon. Parker's Nonna and friends have been working very hard to make this event successful and I know that it will alleviate a lot of stress when they can focus on other aspects of the fundraiser besides ticket sales. Individuals and families have also expressed interest in sponsoring holes, so I also wanted to emphasize that it does not have to be a company to do this. Anyone can sponsor a hole at the tournament. We sincerely appreciate everyone's support to us. It means so much to us and words could never do justice to express our sincere gratitude.
For tickets, to sponsor a hole or donate a prize, please e-mail:

We hope that everyone has a safe and beautiful week-end. It is crazy to think that in such a short time we will be back in Italy. Please continue to keep Parker in your thoughts and prayers as he soon approaches his one year anniversary of gene therapy. He is a fighter!

Friday, April 04, 2008

Amazed and Blessed

Sometimes when I look at my little boy I am just so amazed by him and his journey so far in life. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Parker, his life and all of the obstacles he has been challenged with and overcome. As a parent, there is nothing in this world I would not do for Parker. I love him with every ounce of my being and it is his precious smile, infectious laugh and zest for life that make me so proud to be his mommy. Parker is the strongest person I know. Whenever I find myself feeling down, I try to remind myself that it is Parker who has truly experienced all this pain and he is always happy. I am not quite sure how he does it, but I am so grateful that he does. It is amazing how a little person who has undergone so much in such a short life can always be so happy and content with life. Perhaps, this is because he does not know any different. I believe that this is simply his personality and that it does not take much to make him smile, laugh and be silly.
We are in the process of arranging our return visit to Italy for Parker's one year follow up tests. Although we are looking forward to visiting a place which was our home for 7 months, I am not looking forward to some of the invasive tests that Parker will have. It has been so nice only going to Sick Kids monthly and not having to watch Parker get so stressed out when they access his catheter. There is nothing worse than watching your child try to defend themselves as they look at you and wonder why you are not helping them.
Although, our journey with Parker has been extremely difficult, I do know that we are extremely fortunate and blessed that Parker is doing so well and thriving. He truly is a miracle and I try to count my blessings because our life could have been so much worse if Parker was not diagnosed when he was.
Life is precious. We all know this. However, sometimes it is just so easy to get caught up with life that we miss what we are truly living. I find myself doing this and that is why lately I try to just sit and watch my son as he discovers something new because I feel fortunate to have this opportunity with Parker- something which many parents do not have.
I am a worrier. Those who know me can attest to the fact that I worry about everything. Having a sick child has not helped this. However, I know that if I continue to worry about everything that could go wrong with Parker I am going to miss the present and all I can do is put my faith in a higher source that my family will continue to be protected and Parker will live a normal, healthy life when he is given the chance.
Reading this blog, I can see that it is more of a therapeutic entry than anything else. Some days, I just feel the need to write whether it makes sense or not. Today was one of those days and I guess my whole point is to enjoy today, enjoy the present and enjoy being surrounded by those who you feel blessed to be with and who amaze you too!