Friday, April 04, 2008

Amazed and Blessed

Sometimes when I look at my little boy I am just so amazed by him and his journey so far in life. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Parker, his life and all of the obstacles he has been challenged with and overcome. As a parent, there is nothing in this world I would not do for Parker. I love him with every ounce of my being and it is his precious smile, infectious laugh and zest for life that make me so proud to be his mommy. Parker is the strongest person I know. Whenever I find myself feeling down, I try to remind myself that it is Parker who has truly experienced all this pain and he is always happy. I am not quite sure how he does it, but I am so grateful that he does. It is amazing how a little person who has undergone so much in such a short life can always be so happy and content with life. Perhaps, this is because he does not know any different. I believe that this is simply his personality and that it does not take much to make him smile, laugh and be silly.
We are in the process of arranging our return visit to Italy for Parker's one year follow up tests. Although we are looking forward to visiting a place which was our home for 7 months, I am not looking forward to some of the invasive tests that Parker will have. It has been so nice only going to Sick Kids monthly and not having to watch Parker get so stressed out when they access his catheter. There is nothing worse than watching your child try to defend themselves as they look at you and wonder why you are not helping them.
Although, our journey with Parker has been extremely difficult, I do know that we are extremely fortunate and blessed that Parker is doing so well and thriving. He truly is a miracle and I try to count my blessings because our life could have been so much worse if Parker was not diagnosed when he was.
Life is precious. We all know this. However, sometimes it is just so easy to get caught up with life that we miss what we are truly living. I find myself doing this and that is why lately I try to just sit and watch my son as he discovers something new because I feel fortunate to have this opportunity with Parker- something which many parents do not have.
I am a worrier. Those who know me can attest to the fact that I worry about everything. Having a sick child has not helped this. However, I know that if I continue to worry about everything that could go wrong with Parker I am going to miss the present and all I can do is put my faith in a higher source that my family will continue to be protected and Parker will live a normal, healthy life when he is given the chance.
Reading this blog, I can see that it is more of a therapeutic entry than anything else. Some days, I just feel the need to write whether it makes sense or not. Today was one of those days and I guess my whole point is to enjoy today, enjoy the present and enjoy being surrounded by those who you feel blessed to be with and who amaze you too!


Auntie Natalie said...

Hello My Little Parker Pants!

I am so glad that I am able to read your Mommy's entry today as I am sitting in Windsor getting ready to have some delicious Chinese food. Your Mommy is so right...and please thank her for reminding me how important it is for us to try to stay in the present moment. Life is so special and each moment is something to be grateful for. You have shown your Mommy and Daddy so many amazing things in each moment of your Superhero life little one. Parker, you have also shown me how important it is to approach life eagerly and with a laughing spirit. I feel so blessed to have you in my life Parker Pants. Please tell your Mommy that I am also so grateful for her. Laugh often this weekend Parker and know that the sun will be shining just for you!

Lots of love,
Auntie Natalie xoxox

Kari said...


You are so right. As parents, all we can hope for is that our children are safe, happy & healthy. Parker has undergone so much, and you as his Mommy have had to go through so very much along with him on this journey.

So - now Little Miss Worrier....

Adhere to your own advice. Sit back, enjoy his discoveries and all that he is. Parker is here to remind us all of the internal strength that we all posess, and that life is to be full - of cherished, happy moments.

Cheers to you my brave friend. Each day I am in awe of you.

LOve you!