Sunday, December 24, 2006

My Gift on Christmas Eve

It is early afternoon on Christmas Eve and I have to say that today does not really feel like Christmas. I have the blinds shut in my office so that I can see my screen without squinting. It is quite warm out today and my grass has yet to turn yellow from the cold. Most of all it does not feel like Christmas because I am not spending it the way I have in the past. However, I take what God has given me and no matter how hard it is to deal with at sometimes, I find a way. Maybe I don't always deal with it the most effective way but I swear to the Lord I wake up each morning with the intention to be the best person I can be.

This year I was graced with the birth of my son Parker. I am so thankful for this gift and no matter what is under the tree for me tomorrow morning, it will always pale in comparison to what he has given me. I was quite upset yesterday and as I lay in bed while my wife tried to put Parker to sleep I decided that I would go and hold Parker so that I could forget my troubles for even just a short while. We sat in the glider chair together as he struggled to find a comfortable position on my shoulder to nestle into. It took a while for him as every few moments he would use his hands to push himself away from my shoulder so that he could change the direction of his head. Every few turns he would lean back far enough that he could get a glimpse of where he was. He would use his fists to rub his eyes, take a look at my face and then lay his head back down on my shoulder. This went one for sometime, and eventually I started singing to him in hopes that his restlessness would begin to subside. I knew by the third verse that my voice had calmed my son and he was now asleep. Instead of putting him in his crib I decided to keep singing to him in hopes that I could forget my troubles from earlier that day. Eventually I did put Parker down to sleep and although my worries returned shortly thereafter, I was happy to know that I was able to appreciate my gift even when things felt gloomy.

2 comments:

nonna said...

Hey Parker,

Its Nonna, I am feeling blue this Christmas Eve, along with our whole family. You will get to experience in years to come, that this night is a night of coming together so that we can celebrate Christmas with all our families and friends.
Usually, our relatives and any friends that don't have anywhere to go come over and spend sometime together.
Tonight Parker is different.Due to circumstances out of our control, this night will be like any other night, which is OK too, because Parker, you are healthy and strong and we will celebrate Christmas Eve together next year.
God Bless you little one.

Stay Strong Big Guy.

Love you tons

Nonna & Nonno

Franni said...

Merry Christmas Parker,

I just said to Uncle Pete how tonight is just not the same without family. We really wish we were with you and the rest of the clan at Nonna's. The boys were asking about you and your cousin Jacob. We explained to them that next year we will be starting a whole new tradition where we all spend the evening together in celebration of Christmas.
I hope you have a great day tomorrow and feel the spirit of Christmas around you even though we couldn't all be together tonight!

Thinking of You and your Mommy and Daddy this Christmas.

Love Auntie Franni, Uncle Petee, Patrick, Jonathan, and William