Sunday, June 18, 2006

What Being a Father Means To Me

As I sit here at the computer, I reflect what life was like six months ago. It was still four weeks before Parker was born and although I knew I was about to have a son, looking back, I cannot say I was fully aware what that really meant. Yes, I knew that my life was about to change but to what extent I was oblivious. Late nights would of course be out of the question, changing poopy diapers I knew would be a regular occurrence, but there was to be so much more.

New fathers can attest that you think about all the wonderful things that you are going to do together as you await the big day. Playing catch, teaching your son how to skate, and taking him to his first day of school are just some things that come to mind. That said, you can never fully prepare for what you are really going to experience.

The first moment I saw Parker I knew that what I had imagined it to be like was only a small fraction of what it was to be. Time stops as you hold your child in your arms and he opens his eyes for the very first time to see your face. I recall the first night he was born. He lay there in his bassinet between my wife and my hospital beds. I placed my hand on his as we slept and with the tiniest of sounds that he would make, I would awake. Get up I would, to see if my new born son was okay. And with that, I knew that my purpose in life at that very moment was to love and protect my child.

When we came home, he soon took ill and we had to return to the hospital in which he was born. I recall our first day there. As I sat in his room, alone with him in my arms, he lay there looking at me. I looked back at him and the tears began to roll down my eyes. A few weeks before, I could not have imagined the feelings that I was experiencing at that very moment. How could I have?

Everyday when I get up and I look at my son lieing in his crib I thank the Lord that I have been blessed to have him in my life. He is my son, and I am his father. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my little boy. Yes, I look forward to playing catch with him, teaching him how to skate, and taking him to his first day of school, but it is the way he looks at me every time we are together that is what I will always cherish the most.

To me being a father is something you cannot understand until you actually experience it. I look forward to each and everyday that I get to spend with Parker. As his father, I promise to do whatever it takes to give him the best possible life that I can.

Happy Father's Day to all of the father's out there.

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